Daily Devotional

It’s like the young mother I heard of the other day. She was having ‘one of those days’. She was looking after three sick kids, running around like crazy. The phone rang and the caller wanted to speak to her husband, who was not there. The caller then asked this young mom, “Well, how are you doing?” She answered, “I’m really struggling. My three kids are sick. I’m changing diapers, wiping noses, making meals, and doing laundry. I can’t keep up. I feel like a terrible mom.” He replied, “I’m so glad you’re doing so well.” At that moment she realized he didn’t listen to a word she said. And I think this happens more often than we know.

So I ask you, “Are you a good listener?” Do you sometimes ask a question of someone, and then tune out when the answer comes? For the person sharing with you, it is nothing short of insulting. It communicates that you really don’t care about them.

You have to work at being a good listener. Why is that important? Because it shows you care. You communicate to people that they matter. That no matter what they’re sharing with you, they are not wasting your time. You’re glad to listen to their concerns and help any way you can.

I always notice when I find a good listener. It stands out to me because it happens so infrequently. There are two different types of listeners - Those who listen to respond, and those who listen to understand. To be a good listener, we have to start by understanding what’s being said. Then we respond back. We ask specific questions about what they’re saying. We show them we’re paying attention.

There are times we have conversations with people in a crowded environment, especially after a worship service at church. People are in your field of vision. People come up and stand next to you waiting to talk to you (and you’re hoping they don’t interrupt). There are other distractions like loud fire trucks on the street out front, and loud jets flying overhead. It can be very hard to stay focused on the person. But that’s what good listeners do. Look into their eyes. Nod occasionally. People can tell when you look past them toward something going on behind them. People can tell when you find someone else you want to talk to. People can tell when you’re tuning out. Instead make the person you’re talking to feel like they are the only person in the world for those few minutes. Nothing is more important to you than them. That’s love.

James 1:19 – "But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger."

Being quick to hear goes beyond just being quiet as someone is talking to you. It is actively listening to understand another person’s perspective. To hear the words they use and the emotions behind them. And then respond as a listener who truly understands.

Slow to speak requires restraint. Just because a thought comes into your head doesn’t mean it has to come out of your mouth. When we rush to speak we often use careless or harsh words.

Slow to anger means controlling your temper. Something someone says might anger you, but hold onto it. Don’t react. James makes it clear that human anger does not produce the righteous life that God desires.

When we learn to listen, we gain deeper relationships, we lessen conflict, and we communicate better. And when you are a good communicator, life goes better, and God is honored.

New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved.