Daily Devotional

There’s a song by the Christian artists Tenth Avenue North called “Worn.” It brings me to tears pretty regularly. The song opens with a confession…

I’m tired. I’m worn. My heart is heavy
 From the work it takes to keep on breathing
 
…then builds to a prayer in the chorus:

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that’s frail and torn

I don’t know if the writers of “Worn” had this passage in mind, but these words would fit perfectly in mouth of Elijah in 1 Kings 19. Today, let’s ponder with Elijah: what do we do when we’re worn?

First, some context. Elijah enters 1 Kings 19 coming off one of the greatest spiritual triumphs in the Old Testament. In 24 hours, Elijah has called down fire from heaven, executed 450 false prophets, ended a three-year-long drought, and outrun a chariot. You’d think this would be cause for celebration. But something is wrong. Elijah’s hopes for spiritual victory in Israel are dashed when he receives a message from the evil queen Jezebel, telling him he’s a dead man (19:2). Idolatry is not only alive and well, but still in power. How does Elijah respond?

Elijah quits. He runs away (v. 2), wandering the desert for forty days until arriving at Mount Horeb, or Sinai (v. 8). The narrative slowly introduces us to the flaming cocktail of emotions that Elijah feels:

• Anxiety: Elijah is afraid for his life because of the wrath of Queen Jezebel (v. 3)
• Discouragement: although he has been “very jealous for the LORD, the God of hosts” (v. 10, 14), Elijah thinks he failed in his mission of calling Israel back to Yahweh.
• Exhaustion: Elijah is physically and spiritual worn, collapsing under a broom tree in vv. 4–5.
• Loneliness: Elijah declares that “I, even I only, am left” (vv. 10, 14). He seeks out surroundings that match his sense of loneliness: the dark of a cave (v. 9).
• Hopelessness: Elijah sees no path forward, even to the point of being suicidal: “Take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers” (v. 4).

What’s more, Elijah is feeling all of this immediately after witnessing multiple miracles in chapter 18. Emotionally and spiritually, our highest highs and lowest lows often aren’t that far apart.

To be honest, there are a lot of days in my current season of life and ministry where I feel like Elijah. The combined pressures of multiple ministries, seminary, and caring for my young family are exhausting. Success in these areas takes a long time to become apparent, while failure (things left undone, for example) is immediately obvious: for me, that’s an easy recipe for discouragement. Throw in a heavy degree of uncertainty about the future (both short- long-term) and anxiety is added to the mix. In this season, interactions with people outside of work or home are rare, so I often feel lonely. And on my darkest days, the hopelessness Elijah faces creeps into my own heart as well. I can’t see the path forward, the light at the end of the tunnel: there are only so many times I can tell myself “just get through this week and things will slow down” before I stop believing it.

So how does God respond to the hopeless prophet? How does he respond to us when we despair? Notice that he deals differently with what Elijah does vs. what Elijah feels. As for what Elijah should do, the answer is simple: “Go, return” (v. 15). When Elijah arrives at Mount Sinai, God asks him (twice!), “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (vv. 9, 13). This is a mild rebuke, as in “Why are you hiding in this cave and not doing what I appointed you to do?” For Elijah, giving up, quitting his ministry, and throwing himself a pity party was NOT what God wanted Him to do. Even in times of deep emotional pain, quitting—whether that means sliding into apathy, abdicating our responsibilities, or even giving up on life itself—is never the solution.

But notice also that even as God disciplines Elijah and sets him back on course, He lovingly responds to each of the emotions Elijah is feeling. God deals with Elijah’s exhaustion and loneliness in tangible ways: by providing food and sleep TWICE (vv. 6–7), as well as a companion, the prophet Elisha (v. 19). To his discouragement, God responds with a sort of parable in the natural world (vv. 11–12). In the same way that God’s presence is not in the fire or the wind, but in the still small voice, so also the work of God often precedes slowly and imperceptibly. In other words, Elijah IS making a difference, even if it’s not immediately apparent. Lastly, God deals with Elijah’s anxiety and despair by pulling back the curtain on future events: the people God calls Elijah to anoint will end Baal worship in Israel once and for all (v. 17), and even now there are seven thousand who remain faithful (v. 18). Jezebel’s threats will not derail God’s plan, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Are you worn like Elijah? Do you know someone who is? That’s okay. 1 Kings 19 shows that exhaustion, even hopelessness is not alien to the people of God. So what do we do when we’re worn (and I speak to myself here more than anyone else)?

• Rest. I think “self-care” rightly gets a bad rap in Christian circles, but the first thing God does for Elijah is give him food and sleep. I am a body-soul unity: physical, emotional, and spiritual health are linked. As my mother once wisely said, “Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap.”
• Don’t quit. There’s a difference between resting and quitting. Elijah needed rest, but chose to quit. Don’t let exhaustion or discouragement keep you from what God is calling you to do, even if it’s hard. Giving up is not an option. 
• Remember God’s promises. Elijah developed a “selective memory” in this passage: he lost sight of who God is and what God had called him to do. Emotional pain has a tendency to do that. So when I’m worn, here’s what God says to you:

 
Anxiety: “Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
Discouragement: “for those who love God, all things work together for good:” i.e. God is ALWAYS at work, even if we can’t see it (Romans 8:28)
Exhaustion: “come to Me, all who are labor and heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28)
Loneliness: “He has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” (Hebrews 13:5)
Hopelessness: “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ:” i.e. the fact that you are still breathing means God still has a purpose for your life (Philippians 1:6).

Do those verses solve all my problems? No. Do they give me hope when I’m worn like Elijah? By God’s grace and His power, I think they do.

"English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers."