Daily Devotional

Growing up in a home with a schizophrenic mother, I learned to be silent. The less I said, the better. Consequently, this protective shell of silence became my norm. People called me shy; I felt it was simply self-preservation. My voice was so soft, often it was hard to hear me. In fact, my nickname was Mouse.

When I became a Christian as a young adult, I was still living in a prison of shyness. I guarded what words came out of my mouth. I felt threatened in conversations, so I avoided them. When a person conversed with me, I never listened to their words. My panicked thinking was consumed by, “What am I going to say?” I was terrified I would say the wrong thing—afraid they would not like me or even hurt me with their words. I was a mess!

Proverbs 18:2 “A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind.”

I knew God was calling me to radically change the way I communicate with others. He gently helped me understand that I was being selfish—so focused on myself. My need to feel protected was more important that the needs of others. I was not trusting Him to protect me.

One day I felt moved by the Holy Spirit to help myself grow in my communication with others. I bought a stack of 3x5 cards. On each card I wrote a question that I could ask someone who was trying to talk to me. Simple, normal questions I memorized, like:

“Where do you work?”
 
“Do you like your job?”
 
“Were you raised here in town?”
 
“What job do you hope to get in the future?”

My goal was to learn to listen to people without worrying about what I would ask after they finished talking. I wanted to keep the conversation going without focusing on my own needs. The exercise worked!

One of the most important things that helped me to heal my shyness was finding my best friend and future husband, Jim. He knew my struggle in communication. One evening after Bible Study I remember being on a walk. He turned to me and asked me to scream as loud as I could. The first scream was only a squeak. He prodded me until I could give a hearty scream. (He now says he created a monster!)

After we were married, going to dinner with another couple was a bit of a communication challenge for me. Jim would turn to me and ask me to share my thoughts on the discussion topic, forcing me to speak up.  My husband gave me the affirmation and support I needed. To this day, he knows that affirming me for what I say is one of my love languages.

Looking back on my life, I realize the extreme protective shyness was the result of my difficult home life. But the Lord took a shy, hurting young girl and equipped her to be a very public pastor’s wife, a children’s director, a missionary and…yes…a public speaker!

So here are the simple lessons I’ve learned:

• Shyness is often a symptom of selfishness.
• Shyness is not an excuse for not communicating.
• Shyness is a form of pride.
• Overcoming shyness takes effort.
• Overcoming shyness takes the power of God.

Almighty God did it for shy Pastor Timothy:

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.”

He did it for Moses who was afraid to speak to Pharaoh:

Exodus 4:12 “Now then go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth, and teach you what you are to say.”

He did it for me and He will do it for you. It’s time to let Him do His job!

Luke 12:12 “…the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.”

I praise God for His miraculous healing of my shyness. Because of His “power and love and discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7), I will talk to anyone—including my chickens!
 
For Parents and  Grandparents:

• Teach your children that our God can help them to be brave when they feel shy. Don’t force them to talk to people. Praise them when they respond in a friendly manner. Give them time to grow to be more confident.
• Teach your kids to be kind and patient with other kids who are shy. Sometimes kids are shy because they are sad or afraid.
• Help your children to make friends with someone who is shy. If possible, invite them over to your house so they can become more comfortable and become friends.

New American Standard Bible (NASB) Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation